Happy Mother's Day Mom....Zilla

I love my mother and anybody who knows my mother knows she is everything they portray black women to be in media.  No nonsense, tell it like it is, loud, and most of all loving.  So when I was planning my wedding I knew my mother would have a moment.  Our engagement was at least 15 months.  He proposed quite early and I initially planned it so far out to be sure we weren't in the "Everything is good in the beginning" phase as some folks cautioned us against.  That's another story so remind me and him to blog together about that one.  But 15 months was exactly what we needed to plan each and every detail of our wedding.  If you know anything about me you'd know I'm the no frills, keep it simple, late to my own funeral type of girl. So needless to say planning a wedding that's all about the details, the timing, etc was challenging to say the least. I knew I'd never get through it without my mom.  Wasn't that the truth.

My mom, God bless her heart, got on my last nerves in the last few days leading up to my wedding.  First, she didn't want to buy a dress when everybody went and got their dresses.  "I'm going to lose weight.....I have plenty of time.....I'm sure I'll find something easily. I'm the mother. I don't have to dress like anyone so I'll be fine."  I was ok with it. Then the week before the wedding who still didn't have a dress?  Yep you guessed it. My mother!! We were looking high and low and she didn't like ANYTHING.  When I say anything.  Honestly I didn't like anything either but I needed her to have a dress for the wedding.  I was desperate, willing to change her color and everything.  But she managed to pull it out.  Went to the least expected place and found a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it!!  I'll post her picture below.

Then 2 nights before the wedding, my mom had a break down.  She'd argue it was my fault because I had her schedule a hair appointment with someone I didn't know.  Then I told her the night before the wedding, I'd made an appointment with my stylist (who couldn't fit the whole bridal party but could see me).  Yep why'd I go do that. My mother was PISSED.  She cursed me out in every language.  Why? "That lady was looking forward to that money."  So! I'm looking forward to my hair being flawless for my wedding & I don't care if her feelings are hurt.  That's the business. Sorry.  Well my mom didn't see it that way.  "I'm not getting my hair done. I can't believe you're being so selfish. I'm not staying at the hotel. My shoes don't match my dress. I'll just meet you at the wedding.........." and on and on and on until she hung up on me.  I didn't care because I wasn't letting that lady SET ME UP on the day before my wedding. Period.  And after my mother had to 'touch up' her curls before the wedding I just laughed and said "I'm glad Tanya did my hair." 

But nothing was more funny and crazy then her having a hissy fit because she was following me and hubby to the hotel & started following another car.......that really didn't look like mine. It was just the same color.  Who got cursed out? Yep ME AND HUBBY.  Why?  Because we should have blown the horn incessantly when we saw her go past us.  I mean this woman can't see at night until it's a shoe or handbag sale!! LOL.  

Ultimately, my mother made it to the hotel and wedding venue and everything went off without a hitch. So the moral of this story is that bridezillas and mom-zillas are nothing more than the same people who they are everyday.  My mother got on my nerves. She cursed me out.  She panicked about every thing.  She also gave me her credit card when I realized I'd lost mine 2 days before the wedding running around getting alterations.  My mother was exactly who she was at any other time, my clutch player. And I wouldn't have it any other way.  I love my Mom.......Zilla! lol

 

3 Reasons to Reconsider Extra-Marital Affairs

If you're one of those people who needs some adventure OUTSIDE of your marriage, considers these things.

1. Some years ago a study made the headlines of most of the low life British tabloids. Graham Jackson who is a well-known British cardiologist claimed that 75 per cent of people who die during sexual intercourse are having an extra-marital affair. Dr. Jackson also said that people in a long term relationship are much less likely to die during sex. It was not the act of sexual intercourse but the strain of “cheating” on one’s spouse that was responsible for the heart to stop ticking. - Talk about what's done in the dark coming out in the light!!! I hope it's not just me but Hubby if you find yourself dead in someone else's coochie, you'll be a cremated ass.  I'll help you get the jump on burning in Hell. lol but maybe true.
2. For many women around the world, their greatest risk of HIV infection comes from having sex with the very person with whom they are supposed to have sex: their spouse. This is a touchy subject for men and women alike.  But truth is infidelity is driving up the HIV rate among married couples.  Research has shown that married couples are far less likely to use couple in their relationships and when either of them engages in an extra-marital affair, they are more likely than not to do so without a condom.  And that puts everyone at risk for increased transmission of HIV and STDs.  
3. Increased risk of cervical cancer for women who have extra-marital affairs. Studies didn't say why they think this risk exists. I just wonder who takes care of the woman while she's sick, her husband or her lover.

The Brain of the Cheating Man

If you didn't like the candid point of view from the previous author here is an alternative that explains the brain of the cheating "high-profile" man. The brainand a cheating man might well be an oxymoron. If he had a brain would he cheat? He could just be single, right? And please don't get me started on a "high-profile man". What about the brain of a cheating "Average Joe" or a cheating "No good son of a b#%*+!"? Is there brain any difference? Just read the article and tell me if there's truth to it & what are your ideas about men who don't fit into this category.

Click on the link. Enjoy

The Cheating Man’s Brain - Newsweek

Why Men Cheat: Basics of Infidelity

Infidelity is often the great equalizer.  It considers no socioeconomic status, race, political party, age, or disability.  I can't tell you why infidelity has a way of causing a pain like no other.  Maybe it's because you get the knife in your gut and back at the same time.  Or maybe it's because you feel like you're drowning in a capful of water.  I can't say exactly but talk to any woman who's ever been cheated on and she'll tell you it's like death.  Death of the perfect (or not so perfect) world you've been living in.  You go through all the emotions. You curse the day he was born, blame yourself, blame the mistress, and even entertain visions of murder dancing in your head.  But even after you get through the shock and work through the pain you have one question burning in your head. WHY? Why did he cheat? Why do men cheat?  

Why do men cheat? I think that's a rhetorical question. Being a woman who has always related to men and unfortunately had my own experiences with cheating in past relationships, I have a few notions.  But I'll save my opinions and offer you words from a man who has chosen to remain anonymous.  He is very candid so if this is a sensitive subject for you, leave now.  But if you're ready, read on.

"I'll tell you why I cheat. I need to. Infidelity makes me remember things. The details that expand to fill my life (my upcoming performance reviews, the aches and pains of training, the recovery of my 401(k) ) and the ones that deaden it (my guilt, my smug self-satisfaction, my fake epiphanies about my progress in this life) —all of that drops away when I look down at the naked spine of an unfamiliar woman, twisting slightly in the late-afternoon sunlight streaming onto the sheets of a Hampton Inn in some nameless suburb. This is the most absolute choice I can make. I am there on my own. Against every code, rule, and set of mores I pretend to obey. Against better judgment, against every lesson of hindsight and every shard of wisdom that comes with age, I have no regrets in that moment, because I am naked, or without pants, and I have chosen to be there. I have voted by my presence, declared it, and I feel the blood moving in me again. So it's the blood. That's who I am. That's why men cheat.

People always say men cheat because they can. It's easy to cheat, that part is true. There's so little evidence left behind. The checklists are easy —you have to wash here and there, you have to enlist the sympathy of the woman you are fucking, you have to control your time and select your venue. But by and large, infidelity is remarkably easy to hide. More often than not —more often than any man will admit —there is absolutely no consequence. So yes, that freedom exists. A man can.

But men don't cheat because they can. Men cheat because they must, because they need to. This is the male struggle. Need compels us to try again. Because copulation is not in any way about fate. It is not about two individuals destined to meet on some dark night. It's about random collisions.

If you cheat, you must believe this much: that fated love is a lie, and monogamous love a deception. If you cheat, these two sentiments are your guiding light. Doesn't mean you're incapable of love, doesn't mean you don't want what love —or even marriage —can offer. It's just a paradox. You have what you believe, and it is never the lie. You train your sentiment to fit inside the lie. Your rules fit right inside that sentiment."

For the full article, click the link: http://www.esquire.com/features/reasons-why-men-cheat-0410#ixzz1DhiPqf9S

LMAO, ROTFL, LLS, & LOL

It is cheerful to God when you rejoice or laugh from the bottom of your heart. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

  

My husband and I have laughed since our first encounter.  Neither of us take ourselves too serious.  We have 13 virtues that we hold dear in our marriage and laughter is probably one of the most important.  Here is my husband making me laugh my ass off. Even though it crosses boundaries, we laugh real hard & have a great time in our marriage.  If you can't be yourself in your home or around the people who love you, where can you be yourself!!  I hope you enjoyed it. If you didn't, we did & that's all that matters.

Evelyn Lozada shows you how to ROCK THE RED PUMPS!!

Today, March 10th as National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (NWGHAAD). It’s a nationwide initiative to raise awareness about the increasing impact of HIV/AIDS on women & girls and encourages ladies to take action. Listen Up! Before you go starting rumors let me be clear: EVELYN LOZADA DOES NOT HAVE HIV. 

If you missed it the first time: Evelyn Lozada does NOT have HIV.  This article is dedicated to Evelyn because she is the FIERCEST BITCH to rock the red pumps! These Louboutins she wore to Fashion Week in Madrid....OVA!!  

If Kim Kardashian and J-Lo can get their asses insured then Eveyln Lozada certainly can have her feet insured.  She has the sickest shoe game we've seen in years. And if you don't believe me, check out her store: dulceshoes.net  Here are a few pictures of Evelyn rocking red pumps!  Hopefully, she'll rock a pair today to increase HIV awareness among women and girls.  Stay fly and stay alive! 

Daughter Shaneice rocking the red pumps.

I can't tell if that's pink or red but the basketball wives or ex-wives are hott!

Sex Sells........

dreams............

and nightmares!!!!!!